What 2 Years of Marriage Has Taught Me
My husband and I celebrated our 2-year anniversary a week ago and our pulse-check that day inspired me to share what our marriage, thus far, has taught me about aspects of who I am and how I treat others.
Pulse-Check: A loving conversation about the things we think that we did right, where we could've done better, and goals for ourselves as individuals and our family.
I do consider myself emotionally intelligent, however, I also know that I have the ability to come off cold because of my quick-tongue. I was raised to ultimately always treat people with kindness, however, a lot of us don't realize how impactful exact word choice can contribute to the way someone receives the words. "You know what I meant..." isn't always good enough and definitely not a pass. True intimacy in a romantic relationship allows you to learn what your partner responds or reacts to - but it is also important to pay enough attention to anyone who you have a relationship with so that they don't walk away feeling singed by your delivery. It's impossible to get it perfect every time, but trying costs $0.
I've grown to really become annoyed by grudge-holders. If someone thoughtfully had no intent to hurt you with their actions, inadvertently did so, and apologizes sincerely...LET IT GO. So much unnecessary resentment and animosity is sewn and harvested out of holding onto things and not only is that damaging in a marriage, but also in life. There is no weakness in truly forgiving another person. There are going to be times when your partner pisses you off...period. Let it go. Outside of my relationship at home, I've been able to restore great friendships in the past 2 years by applying this.
Laughing It Off
Everything is not a thing. To keep it short and sweet, you have to have a sense of humor about life in certain times. There have been moments where my husband and I have looked at each other mid-argument and just busted out in hysterical laughter, simply because the *ish was just stupid. We all have to ability to be quite ridiculous - at home, work, wherever. Learning to laugh small things off and not take the bits and pieces of everything so seriously has saved me major headaches.
The Importance of Self-Reflection
A person you have a relationship with was a person before you met them and they are a person outside of their relationship with you. They have their own personality, flaws, values, and history that has nothing to do with you and vice versa. We have to spend more time analyzing ourselves and the way we choose to handle things over judging the way the opposite person does. I'm married to my husband and friends with those who I call friends because our values align. In all cases, I'm responsible for being the best version of myself and controlling what I know may be wrong with me in maintaining those relationships. The fact of the matter is, we all have battles to fight, and if you can't handle someone else's flaws then do not associate - but its not up to us to point out others' issues. Let them work on them.
You work on you.
Wedding Photography by MM Studios NJ